Hello. I have been on psychiatric medication since I was 14. I started out on all the SSRIs they would stop working after a year or so. So I was put on antipsychotics at age 16 and I am 22 years old. My andehonia which I believe is from the antipsychotics has gotten so severe over the years that I experiemented with cannbis. I believe the true reason I had to be put on SSRIs was bullying and trauma. I was put on antipsychotics not for being psychotic but “off label for my treatment resistant depression” Cannabis was the only thing that made me feel normal. I didnt even get high from cannabis I would just be able to sit still, food tasted good, I could listen to music and actually enjoy anything. I have tried to come off of antipsychotics but have had withdrawal symptoms that have mimiced a relapse or worsening of conditions, meanwhile I know that the antipsychotics have fried my brain.The antipsychotics have created a upregulation of dopamine in my brain especially during critical years of puberty that everytime I come off them my receptors were way too sensitive to handle it. On antipsychotics currently. I cannot focus on anything I have no interest in anything everything feels like a chore i cant even enjoy a tv show or a nap and I know that from pharmacology my brain must be producing such small amounts of dopamine that cannbis is the only thing that can break through to produce any form. Can you or anyone lead me to doctors or anybody who could support my theory? I have qEEg brain mapping I could share if that could also lead to more information.
Thank you for sharing this so openly. What you’re describing is complex, and I can understand why you’ve been trying to make sense of your experience through both neuroscience and your own lived observations.
I would be careful about concluding with certainty that your brain has been “fried” or permanently damaged, or that your experience can be fully explained by a single dopamine mechanism. Psychiatry, trauma biology, neurodevelopment, medication adaptation, withdrawal phenomena, and the endocannabinoid system all overlap in ways that are still not fully understood.
What you are describing around emotional blunting, anhedonia, withdrawal difficulty, sensory flattening, and feeling temporarily more “normal” with cannabis is something some patients do report, particularly after long periods on certain psychiatric medications. But situations like this deserve careful, individualized evaluation rather than self-directed interpretation alone.
I also would not recommend making major medication changes without experienced psychiatric supervision, especially after long-term antipsychotic exposure, because withdrawal and relapse-like symptoms can sometimes become difficult to distinguish clinically.
The qEEG information may be interesting from an exploratory standpoint, but I would be cautious about overinterpreting brain mapping data beyond what is strongly evidence-based.
The most productive next step would probably be finding a thoughtful psychiatrist or neuropsychiatry-oriented clinician who is genuinely comfortable discussing:
• trauma-informed care
• long-term medication effects
• gradual deprescribing approaches when appropriate
• functional quality of life
• and cannabinoid/endocannabinoid science in a measured way
A structured clinical evaluation is much safer and more useful than trying to solve this entirely through internet discussion threads.
I appreciate the seriousness and self-reflection in your question, and I think approaching it carefully and collaboratively is important.
